When i say “I love you” which i have done to lots of people i care about including chosen family and occasionally in spanko relationships, it doesn’t mean I’m IN love. I think Donkey even says he loves Shrek, or Eddie Murphy said it to Judge Reinhold in BHC?

So when someone I had to dump (after being too kind for ages) pounces today after a year away and reminds me, thinking I’m available to spank again, it upsets me. Sometimes i think I’m safer just having my friends and chosen family and flirty fun with vanilla young waiters my own body clock mental age on holiday who I actually fancy who can’t speak English, or maybe I’m just feeling done with men, particularly in the scene.

Maybe it’s when some people think spanking me must mean I’m turned on and want to have sex with them afterwards, like its part of the foreplay. I hate these grown up conversations and explaining that if I feel sexual with someone it has nothing to do with spanking. I can never say it to anyone, but when i feel sexual it’s because I just have the unexplainable hots for them. I’m not even sure anymore that I only fancy men. I am occasionally attracted to some girls too (hence im heteroflexible) but it really shouldn’t matter if people are attracted to each other?

I am immature I know that, so its probably best to just leave me alone because I can’t handle talking about this stuff anymore and just want to be in my safe middle zone where noone can hurt me. I like spanking scenes and the right relationships that suit me and being in films, but that’s all.

To me, being In proper love or wanting any kind of sexual fun with someone is more than just saying “I love you”. But after today i will again be more careful not to say it again and stop being too naive and nice to people too soon 🙁

Rant over…but here are some recent pictures. I had over 3 months away due to working on other vanilla things so i have not been spanked since my last film. I’m off to Oasis Spanking Party in Las Vegas in February and can’t wait to see friends and make new ones and just have normal uncomplicated spanking fun again like I always did!